Author Archives: dogpossum

I like the goth ones the best. Sort of opera goth. That‘s great. Chicks with dresses made of rags with glowy bits stuck to their hands doing Hitler arms up in the air and wearing leather bodices.
5 seconds into Turkey and I know I love them already. Gold, gold, gold and men in red jackets with gold embroidery.
“Shake it up, shake it …in?”
This one goes out to all the girls in Brunswick!
I am definitely won over by uptempo songs with lots of dancing. Really poor singing is also a winner.
Austria has a man in a silver glittery mesh coat climbing out of a giant red vagina made out of red feathers and drag queens. Awesome. Go Austria! Go Austria!
Maybe that’s not a giant red vagina but a big AIDs ribbon? I like the red faceted cod pieces.
Latvia: more opera-pop. Boring. Dull. Boring. Plus it’s dress jackets over jeans and I don’t approve. Though their fake medals are interesting because they remind me of a bloke I met at a wedding recently who owned his own business where he remounted medals onto strips so diggers can wear them in marches. Really.
Mikko Leppilampi = hawt.
Acts I didn’t blog:
Bulgaria: awesome drums and chain mail.
Israel: joke band singing about bombs.
Cyprus: I must have missed this one – another glittery one.
Belarus: boring boyband action.
Iceland: hair.
Georgia: girly in a red dress shouting a bit with some guys dancing with swords (extra points).
Montenegro: boyband. Boring.
Moldova: more shouting and leather.
The Netherlands: orange, shouting lady with other ladies in lame.
Albania: sort of goth. Dull.
Denmark: awesome drag queen action with quick costume changes on stage.
Croatia: more big hair and shouting.
and then it’s back to Poland.
I think I’m voting for … hm. The vampire song is too obvious. I liked Malta because it sounded like a James Bond song. But I also liked Belgium because it was really really crap. But Turkey man had the goods. Austria did have the vagina thing happening (and we’re all about gynocentrism here)…. Well, that’s my shortlist.
I’m sorry I blocked up your feedreaders with all these silly eurovision posts. But if you were watching and you loved it too… then you rock, and your love gives me …
VERTIGO!

Two thumbs up for Belgium: satin, disco dancing, really terrible singing. Go here to feel the love power coming your way (today is not a bad day).

Norway was boring. So it’s not worth it’s own entry (plus I’m getting a bit bored with this).
Malta has a weird ‘oriental’ theme, and lots of shouting about how loving you gives me vertigo. More fans. I think this is my favourite song, though. “Your love turns me blue, my anger (?) is red… i’m ..something… turns me indigo!”
I don’t even know where Andorra is. I don’t like them because the the lead singer really sucks. Can you say monotone? We like lots of notes with our eurovision. I know they’re meant to be a punk band, so they need to suck a bit, but booooring. Where are their dancers?!
They do win for ending their show with “Thank you everybody, we can still save the world!”
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Brief pause: can you imagine being on eurovision in the semi finals (that’s what I’m watching on SBS by the way)? Would it be great or crap? It’d be scary, though.
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Hungary. Missy Higgins in Europe. Nice suitcase.
These conventional ones suck. We want costumes. Not stupid suitcases, fake bus stop signs and singlets that say ‘thank god I’m a VIP’.
And WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?!
It is just like rage. Just one more. One more song.

Seeing my first ad for the second season of Nerds FC is the only good thing about ads on SBS.

More partner dancing, this time ballet dancers, and not quite as crap. Still not great.
But I like the way he’s picking her up and turning her around while she’s singing. But not enough sparkles for me.
Song? Bah, dull. though
“music is the only world for me
…
…
ni ni-nah nah, nah nah ni ni nah”

A little conservative for our tastes, but I like the really big fans (though I liked the really big fans flapping around the Danish drag queen more).
This one gets points for men in skin tight, white with glitter ballroom dancing outfits and really, really, really terribly bad ‘ballroom dancing’.

Last year we really liked the ‘metal’ monster guys.

We’re not sure about the ‘death metal’ czech republic doods. I don’t like all the hair. But I like the gravelly voices.

Androgyny is go.
I don’t like the slow songs – I like the ones with dancing and crazy costumes, not reeeeally slow Washington hand dancing and faux lesbians.

she: “don’t get crazy”
he: “Let’s party,
you got the right to party!”
Red leather, really short skirts, tartan pants, ladies in cages.
And, as The Squeeze points out, ‘crazy’ rhymes with ‘party’

I thought I’d have lots to say, but I don’t. I’d like to think I watch this tongue-in-cheek, but I’m afraid I just think it’s wonderful. The lyrics are weird, but the costumes are fabulous. No one can sing, but they can all dance. Mostly.
And holy moley there are a lot of people there. Eurovision Helsinki.
Crap, the website is busted so I can’t provide excellent links. But you can see bits and pieces on the BBC Eurovision site.
I can’t look away. Eurovision does this to me every year. It’s like Rage. One more song… just one… more…
I love the costumes.
I love the dancing.
I love the (freaking amazing) light and sound action on the stage.
I think I’m voting for Switzerland’s Vampires are alive because they had mannequins on the stage with the five (or was it six?) singing/dancing group members. And because they sang a song as vampires. And of course, YouTube saves our lives with some truly fabulous clippage. Go here to see some amazing clips – filmed on mobile phones, Simms versions…