Category Archives: television

France. Apparently Gaultier did their costumes. Nice job, John-Paul. That guy’s kitty nearly fell off his jacket and he had to grab it. On camera!
I don’t much like these joke acts. I think eurovision entries should be serious.
And band acts are dumb. Though it is up-tempo. Not disco uptempo, though. And there are no ladies. Nor is this a boyband. Dumb.
Thumbs down.
Latvia. Ok mates, I’m off to shower. I’m sure I’ll miss some.

Ad break.
I don’t know if I have the strength to do the rest of these acts.
It upsets me that cadburys sponsor the SBS and they sell their old gold dark chocolate like it’s worth eating. It’s not. We like Lindt for everyday eating round here. And Koko black for fancy. Another good thing about lindy hop is that there are lots of Swiss dancers. And they give good chocolate.

If you go here, you can see which countries played in which order.
1. Bosnia & Herzegovina Maria ŠESTIĆ Rijeka Bez Imena
2 Spain D’NASH I Love You Mi Vida
3 Belarus Koldun Work Your Magic
4 Ireland DERVISHThey Can’t Stop The Spring
5 Finland Hanna PAKARINEN Leave Me Alone
6 FYR Macedonia Karolina Mojot Svet
7 Slovenia Alenka GOTAR Cvet Z Juga
8 Hungary Magdi RÚZSA Unsubstantial Blues
9 Lithuania 4FUN Love Or Leave
10 Greece Sarbel Yassou Maria
11 Georgia Sopho Visionary Dream
12 Sweden THE ARK The Worrying Kind
13 France LES FATALS PICARDS L’amour À La Française
14 Latvia BONAPARTI.LV Questa Notte
15 Russia SEREBRO Song #1
16 Germany Roger CICERO Frauen Regier’n Die Welt
17 Serbia Marija ŠERIFOVIĆ Molitva
18 Ukraine Verka SERDUCHKA Dancing Lasha Tumbai
19 United Kingdom SCOOCH Flying The Flag (For You)
20 Romania TODOMONDO Liubi, Liubi, I Love You
21 Bulgaria Elitsa TODOROVA & Stoyan YANKOULO Water
22 Turkey Kenan DOÄžULU Shake It Up, Shekerim
23 Armenia Hayko Anytime You Need
24 Moldova Natalia BARBU Fight
We’re up to Greece at number 10. Good start:
“first off, she’s a lady,
this is a lady’s world”
Which is, speaking as a Brunswick chick, exactly the sort of talk I like to hear from a good Greek boy. I like using the term ‘lady’. The Squeeze calls us (us being crink and I and D) ladies.
I think I’m voting for Greece!! I like all the freakin’ shimmies! I like the shitty syncho backing dancers! I like the song!
Georgia. Great. I like the dress. I like the dancing guys with swords. It’s an up-tempo disco song, so it’s go my vote. It’s a bit like Madonna, except with lyrics by someone whose first language isn’t English so they have that A-ha feel.
“This precious moment of my life,
holds me excited!”
Sweden.
I really have to go have a shower. I shaved The Squeeze’s head earlier and have prickles all over me.
I have to watch this entry – Sweden is the national home of lindy hop in the twenty first century. And Abba.
And this entry is worth embedding.

I’ts ok, I guess, but it’s too obvious choice for me.

F.Y.R. Macedonia.
I blogged them last night. Tonight the girl is miming and it sucks. The Squeeze points out that it’s the same camera angles, though. She’s wearing the same dress too. I’d have made her a new one. That ballet dancing is dumber tonight.
Maybe I’m just a bit more cynical tonight.
Slovenia!
We liked her last night. The Squeeze liked the glowy thing on her hand. I like her frock. And the opera pop. I think she’s actually singing. But, really, I can’t be sure any more.
I hate Terry Wogan – why is he ruining the surprise by introducing them before the begin?
(The Squeeze just gave me a really excited grin as she shone the light thing on her face).
See her sing here or read my other post about her here.
Hungary. Put some freakin’ shoes on. She’s singing for real.
I don’t think I can sit through all of these shitty songs again.
I might go and have a shower now.

Belarus. I like to say bell -ar -us like an SF character. But The Squeeze says it’s Bell-a-roos.
I like this one because there’s awesome synched dancing action and girls velcroed to the props. the singer guy is really crap but he has fabulous makeup and a big, crazy smile.
Youtube (or my 5 second youtube search) has come through with the goods for Belarus!
Ireland. Boring. But it’s kind of distressing to hear an Irish chick who can’t even hold one single note. Surely it’s some sort of cultural and genetic imperative? Or perhaps not. No stereotypes here. Pft. Nice head mike (bet she doesn’t say “fuck!” into it the way I did during the first dance class I ever taught).
Borrin! Aaargh! I had a friend who was into that freakin’ instrument and we nearly shoved it up his arse. Bu-dumba-da-dumba-dee-dumba-dee-dumbda-da-dumb!
Finland. Go Finland! Go! Could there be any more goth acts in this year’s eurovision? But I have to admit I like that goth action. Though a bit of choreographed dancing would have helped.
I just have to say here, that it’s not a good idea to read the comments on the eurovision clips. There’s some scarily racist/homophobic crap on there.
I hate Terry Wogan. He sucks arse.

Bosnia and Herzegovina: I like this one because of the lady’s big seaweed dress and the baziki. And it has kissing.
Spain: hawt boyband action. With tight white shirts.

I didn’t think I could cope with any more of this stuff, but the opening sequence is inspiring. I’m not struck on Terry Wogan (dumb dumb dumb – where’s the nice couple from last night?), but I really, really like the opening bit with last year’s winner Lordy opening the show.
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Aside: The Squeeze could remember the name of last year’s winner from last year. I have no clue – I’m a goldfish with names, which is actually quite nice.

I like the goth ones the best. Sort of opera goth. That‘s great. Chicks with dresses made of rags with glowy bits stuck to their hands doing Hitler arms up in the air and wearing leather bodices.
5 seconds into Turkey and I know I love them already. Gold, gold, gold and men in red jackets with gold embroidery.
“Shake it up, shake it …in?”
This one goes out to all the girls in Brunswick!
I am definitely won over by uptempo songs with lots of dancing. Really poor singing is also a winner.
Austria has a man in a silver glittery mesh coat climbing out of a giant red vagina made out of red feathers and drag queens. Awesome. Go Austria! Go Austria!
Maybe that’s not a giant red vagina but a big AIDs ribbon? I like the red faceted cod pieces.
Latvia: more opera-pop. Boring. Dull. Boring. Plus it’s dress jackets over jeans and I don’t approve. Though their fake medals are interesting because they remind me of a bloke I met at a wedding recently who owned his own business where he remounted medals onto strips so diggers can wear them in marches. Really.
Mikko Leppilampi = hawt.
Acts I didn’t blog:
Bulgaria: awesome drums and chain mail.
Israel: joke band singing about bombs.
Cyprus: I must have missed this one – another glittery one.
Belarus: boring boyband action.
Iceland: hair.
Georgia: girly in a red dress shouting a bit with some guys dancing with swords (extra points).
Montenegro: boyband. Boring.
Moldova: more shouting and leather.
The Netherlands: orange, shouting lady with other ladies in lame.
Albania: sort of goth. Dull.
Denmark: awesome drag queen action with quick costume changes on stage.
Croatia: more big hair and shouting.
and then it’s back to Poland.
I think I’m voting for … hm. The vampire song is too obvious. I liked Malta because it sounded like a James Bond song. But I also liked Belgium because it was really really crap. But Turkey man had the goods. Austria did have the vagina thing happening (and we’re all about gynocentrism here)…. Well, that’s my shortlist.
I’m sorry I blocked up your feedreaders with all these silly eurovision posts. But if you were watching and you loved it too… then you rock, and your love gives me …
VERTIGO!

Two thumbs up for Belgium: satin, disco dancing, really terrible singing. Go here to feel the love power coming your way (today is not a bad day).

Norway was boring. So it’s not worth it’s own entry (plus I’m getting a bit bored with this).
Malta has a weird ‘oriental’ theme, and lots of shouting about how loving you gives me vertigo. More fans. I think this is my favourite song, though. “Your love turns me blue, my anger (?) is red… i’m ..something… turns me indigo!”
I don’t even know where Andorra is. I don’t like them because the the lead singer really sucks. Can you say monotone? We like lots of notes with our eurovision. I know they’re meant to be a punk band, so they need to suck a bit, but booooring. Where are their dancers?!
They do win for ending their show with “Thank you everybody, we can still save the world!”
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Brief pause: can you imagine being on eurovision in the semi finals (that’s what I’m watching on SBS by the way)? Would it be great or crap? It’d be scary, though.
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Hungary. Missy Higgins in Europe. Nice suitcase.
These conventional ones suck. We want costumes. Not stupid suitcases, fake bus stop signs and singlets that say ‘thank god I’m a VIP’.
And WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?!
It is just like rage. Just one more. One more song.