Australia Day Meme c/o pavcat and others.
This will help you understand why it is that I am a media studies person not a literature person. And perhaps it can be explained by the fact that I read almost nothing but science fiction.
AUSTRALIAN LIT MEME
1) Which Australian poem are you most confident you could recite from memory?
There was movement at the station
for the word had got around
that the colt from old Regret had got away.
That’s it, homies. That’s all I know of any Aussie poem…. no, wait, I know one more:
Jesus Christ,
superstar,
Burnin’ round town on his Yamaha,
Chucked a skid,
Scared a kid,
Burned his arse on the petrol lid.
My favourite bit is the part where he scares a kid. I couldn’t swear that this was penned by an Orstraylian.
2) Which of the Seven Little Australians are you?
What are you implying?
I don’t know any of the Seven Little Australians. I have never read a story with them in it. Nor watched a telly show featuring them.
3) Which is your favourite Patrick White novel?
Couldn’t name even one. Not even one. I’m sorry.
4) Which is the best Patrick White novel?
Can I call a friend?
5) Which Australian fictional/dramatic/poetic character do you fancy most?
I think that would have to be the man from Snowy River, for obvious reasons. Unless I could be … no. Actually, I don’t want to be anyone from Monkey Grip.
6) And which do you identify with most?
Oh, you were asking me which I thought was hawtest in that last question? Riiight. Sorry, same answer.
7) If you had to read five Australian poems to a heterogeneous unknown audience, which five would you choose?
Five that were written down. But I think I’d start with this one because it actually reads aloud quite well. I would perhaps accompany it with some interpretive dance.
8) Which five Australian books would you take to a desert island?
48 Shades of Brown by Nick Earles.
…
fuck, I can’t think of any Australian books I’ve read that weren’t written by Nick Earles or Helen Garner. I know I’ve read some, I’m just not sure which one’s I’d like to take to an island. Nice ones? Maybe ones I haven’t read? How’s about that Patrick White – what’s good by him?
9) If you were a guest at Don’s Party, would you be
(a) naked in the pool
(b) upstairs having sex
(c) outside having sex
(d) sulking with a headache
(e) huddled round the TV
(f) crying
(g) more than one of the above (please specify)
(h) other (please specify)
Waaiiiit… this wasn’t just a film, was it?
I’m not sure.
Last (state) election I was herding a few hundred endorphine-charged, sweat-bathed dancers through two rooms of late night fun. I think crying would have been my preferred option at that point.
10) Tim Winton or Christos Tsiolkas?
Because I once had a discussion with Galaxy about Tsiolkas and decided I didn’t like his sexual preferences much (I got the idea he was into underaged young men. But then I didn’t mind Loaded (was that the name of the film?). The only Tim Winton I’ve read is Cloud Street. It was ok, but it was a bit depressing.
11) Banjo Paterson or Henry Lawson?
Banjo, because there’s never enough banjo. Banjo-banjo-banjo.*
12) Henry Lawson or Barbara Baynton?
Lawson because I don’t know Babbs.
13) What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen at a writers’ festival?
I saw someone’s undies once. I can’t remember who’s.
*This is a reference to New Orleans jazz.
