This one word on a dance event’s code of conduct tells me they have not understood the assignment.
Why?
Misandry: hatred of men.
Because this word is included in this list, I strongly recommend _not_ attending this event.
Why?
–Misandry /= Misogyny–
When ‘misandry’ is included in a list of words including discrimination and harassment, it suggests (by proximity) that misandry, misogyny, and transphobia are the same thing.
This is not true.
Within the context of patriarchy* (ie where we live now – a society where straight white cismen hold the economic, political, and social power), misandry, misogyny, and transphobia are not the same thing.
The important difference is context (ie patriarchy) and systemic structures.
When I see a page like this which purports to be about preventing harassment, listing misandry (hating men) as significant an issue as misogyny or racism or transphobia, I’m immediately super suspicious.
We can assume that that the author sees sexual violence against cismen as statistically significant as sexual violence against women (and transfolk).
This is not true**. Cismen are far more likely to commit sexual violence than to be the victim of sexual violence. Cismen who are the victim of sexual violence are usually attacked by other cismen.
–Dog Whistles–
Inserting the word like this distracts from the discussion of sexual violence committed _by_ cismen. It’s a very common strategy by MRAs, and works as a sort of dog whistle. This dog whistle is using a particular word to signal to a particular audience*** that they don’t believe sexual violence is gendered.
Who is this audience? It might be other MRAs. But specifically, drawing on the patterns I’ve seen in the Australian lindy hop world, it’s cismen who have been reported for sexual harassment or sexual assault, and their defenders. So when one of those cismen who’ve been banned or reported sees this word in a description of inappropriate behaviour, they think “Cool. I’m the victim of misandry. I’ll go to this event, where I’ll be able to carry on doing whatever I want without being discriminated against.”
Do you see how using this word makes your event dangerous?
Cismen who who have been reported for sexual violence (and harassment) are a demonstrable risk to women, trans and intersex folk. Even if they tell you they’ve ‘changed’ or ‘done their time’.
This particular whistle brings all the fucking dangerous dogs to your yard. No thank you.
–Ignorance is Dangerous–
It could mean that the author doesn’t understand what misandry is. They may have read a dictionary definition and decided ‘Oh, misandry is hating men. That’s awful. We don’t hate all men!’ On the face of it, that seems reasonable. But remember the context*.
If the author does not understand what misandry means, their safe space policy is not informed by good research or a clear understanding of what’s involved.
ie it’s not going to be a safe event.
At this point we usually see the white lady tears starting to flow. “But I just wanted to include everyone!” she wails. “But she’s such a nice person – she just means well!” her apologist friends declaim.
Whatevs, mate. You still got it wrong, and you still need to accept it, take ownership of of your bullshit, and get your fucking self right.
*Patriarchy vs Misandry
Patriarchy functions through a range of systems and institutions that disempower and harm women (and trans and intersex folk) and empower cismen. The ‘hatred of women’ (misogyny) is carried out by laws which protect sexual offenders, medical discourse that does not use accurate research into women’s health, dance schools that see leading as masculine and following as feminine, and so on. All this in addition to the face to face hatred women and girls encounter on the street (eg violence, catcalling, etc).
Misandry may happen in a one-on-one setting, or within specific groups, but it does not have the structural support and power that misogyny does. I might declare ‘I hate all men!” but because I do not make laws or run a huge corporation, the effects of this declaration are limited to fewer people.
**Sexual Violence is Gendered
We have tons of clear, unequivocal evidence that sexual violence in our culture is gendered. Cismen commit almost all incidences of sexual violence in our community. Women, girls and boys are as likely to be the victims of sexual violence. Adult men are also the victims of sexual violence, but they do not report in the same numbers (so we don’t have solid data), and when they do, their assailant is almost always a cisman.
(reference)
This is why we see the phrase “Not all men; but it’s always a man.” I have yet to come across a legitimate report of a woman sexually harassing a man in Australian lindy hop. This doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen, but it does mean that it’s incredibly rare. The lindy hop scene is a small version of the wider community in which it exists. Mainstream Australia is white patriarchy, and so is the lindy hop scene.