look, we’re on the internet!

It’s odd to see bits of my world on the internet. If you go here you can see a building that I pass every week as I ride into town to go dancing. And that’s about the time of day I ride past (with allowances for seasonal variation of course).
The bit that’s strange though, is that I don’t often see the building from that angle – mostly as I’m barelling past trying not to die on the roundabout of death.

where’s the good goddamn chocolate? WHERE?

I take time out to focus my eyes.
I’m having trouble staying focussed on these nasty chapter rewrites. I certainly can’t divide the text up into individual words any more – it’s just one blob of known-by-heart text now, and I can no longer (if I ever could) tell what’s crap and what’s not. I am relying entirely on the Supes’ scribbledy comments, praying she knows what she’s doing. The bits where she says ‘rewrite this’ or ‘need to make this clearer’ almost make me cry. Creative work is kind of beyond me right now. I’m not even sure I know what the thesis is about any more, let alone what each chapter is about.
I am definitely No Good at introductions. Each one has been so scribbled over it looks like a nest of black jellyfish squabbling over fountain pen. I just suck at this part. I’m still not entirely sure about what I should actually be doing. Because I’m just following directions now (it seemed the best idea, especially after I was instructed to edit the same section at least 3 times, crossing back and forth over the same lines, editing, reverting, editing and reverting again), I’m not actually learning anything. I do feel a bit like a real dummy.
But it’s not a sad thing – it’s kind of nice to just stop thinking (critically or otherwise) and just be told what to do. I think I want one of those menial jobs where you do repetitive tasks over and over again. Maybe I should work at McDonalds, or do a *deleted* dance class.
I’m not sure if I should be making things shorter and crisper, or longer and artier. I’m pretty sure some parts were to be longer and artier, but some parts which I had made artier are now to be reverted to crisper forms. Sigh.
And why is it that I only seem to know about 20 words, now? Surely there are more words out there in the english language?
Look, I’ll just go back to Doing As I’m Told for now, then when I’ve finished each individual chapter’s overall edit, I’ll go on and actually write (for about the zillionth time) The Introduction again (formerly Chapter One the literature review and The Introduction. And formerly-to-that Capter one: the Introduction). Can you feel my pain?
Frankly, I have no idea, at all, whatsoever, about what I’m doing, what I should do, and what counts as ‘good stuff’ or not.
Double sigh.
Where’s the good goddamn chocolate? WHERE? I’m not normally the sort of barbie who fusses over things like chocolate – you know the type. They have posters or tshirts that say things like ‘i love chocolate’. I like the stuff, but heck, there are other, more important things in my (gastronomic) life.
But right now, I just feel that it would be appropriate.

recent reading

Ok, so I haven’t read that article, yet, but I have read most of this:

It’s one of the most recent contriubtions to dance studies work on African American vernacular dance history, edited by Tommy DeFrantz, who does some interesting work on queer black masculinity in dance. While there’s a little more emphasis on concert dance than I’m really interested in, there are also some neat articles, especially one on ring shouts which is really worth reading for a discussion of African slaves’ experiences with christianity, as represented in dance.

man, i have to lie down

hellooooo HECs debt. Smaller than I thought, larger than I’d like, and with nasty added on bits they call ‘indexation’ but that I call CRAP.
Hello 189 pages of thesis for editing. Oh yes – it’s back, and the supes is off, out of the country tonight so I can’t get her back for all the annoying editing jobs she’s give me. It’s not her fault, though I don’t think I could cope with any more it’s-my-fault guilt.
Yeah, so anyway, she thinks it rocks, and this is the penultimate draft (penultimate draft #5 or so). Basically, I’m going to ditch the intro she got me to write a couple of weeks ago, revert to the earlier version of chapter one (pre-reccommended changes), fix up my crap intros and conclusions on each chapter, and sort out the gross conclusion to the whole thing. I’m obviously terrible at beginnings and endings. Despite all that, there are dozens of pages without any scribbles on them at all.
Basically, I’m looking at about 3 weeks of work (as predicted), then the ‘final’ copy will go back to her.
Thankfully, I’m a quick writer, and I’m now kicking arse at producing new stuff that’s decent quickly.
We each know every word off by heart now, and are heartily sick of the whole thing. Every now and then we remind ourselves that I rock, and so we’re not wasting our time. I say we, because neither of us could continue without the other to bolster our flagging spirits. Even calling each other a cocksucker didn’t help.
Meanwhile, MLX6 planning continues (drupal sucks dogs’ balls btw – avoid that piece of shit. we are exploring other options (including a wiki and plone), so any suggestions for easy-to-use document management/threadable discussiony type things would be appreciated).
It’s cold as fuck, I haven’t slept enough lately, owing to mild thesis anxiety, and I need a nap.
I’m also waiting for a cd to arrive from amazon. I can’t remember what it’s called, but it’s a 2 or 3 cd set of remastered ellington stuf. I’m quite excited. Not that I’ve listened to ANY music AT ALL in at least a week. I simply haven’t had time. What with all that Buffy to be watched.
On other fronts, I’ve lined up some tutoring for next semester, which is neat, as the scholarship ends in August, but also means a bit of work coming my way. Right when I’m ready to just Stop. But I’m very happy to be keeping in the game.
I’m also DJing Friday night, which is nice, as there’s been very little of it about lately. Seems a bunch of new young guns have cottoned on to the caper. Sigh. Best be getting on with pimping myself about before I lose all of the few skills I’ve gained this last few months. It’s kind of annoying, as I’ve not had a chance to test out my new headphones situation. And I’m not sure I will for a while. Oh well.
Man, I have to lie down. Even Lionel Hampton isn’t keeping me alert.

that big fat bottomless pit of uncritical critical theory (wherein Buffy, ibooks and a horde of cyberdykes take on The Man)

I think this series of entries is really me logging in my reading process, as I go through an article in a journal. Tedious stuff if you’re looking for a coherent, sensible argument. Interesting stuff if you’re into active readership… dang. Did I give away the punch line?*
If you’ve already read my last entry (who am I kidding?), you might be interested in reading this – it’s the McKee text I quoted. Interestingly, McKee notes that

I’m trying to encourage people to break out of their normal habits, to think about the culture they consume. I’m thinking that maybe we shouldn’t just do the same thing, every day week in, week out.
….a global campaign encouraging people to boycott books for one week and to challenge you to explore new ways of passing time.
You could try talking to friends, or dancing to some music. You could even watch some television!’

Do you like the way McKee lists some of my most favourite things there? And how, for me, these are the cultural practices in the forefront of my mind? Will I dance? Will I stay home and watch telly? Will I talk with friends while watching telly? Will I read? Oh, dilemma, dilemma.
I still feel, even though I love telly and understand all those arguments about high/low culture, loving mass culture for its own goodness, that perhaps encouraging people to ‘turn off their telly’ for a week is not a bad thing. And not just because it saves power.**
Look, I’m getting off-track now, and I still haven’t read that article, but really, why am I so bothered by McKee’s comments? Surely it’s not just because it seems to have toppled into that big fat bottomless pit of uncritical critical theory which seems to dogg me at every conference***?
Geez. I wonder if all this confusion and brow-furrowing on my part is really just a result of watching too much Buffy and Angel, where there seems to be an eternal tension between ‘old knowledge’ and ‘new knowledge’, namely in the persons of Willow (read: Witch/feminist/lesbian/macslut****/hawt young thing with irritating approach to slang English) and Giles/Wesley (read: Watchers’ council/patriarchy/booknerds)?***** Probably.
and CRAP, where is the INTERNET in all this book v telly crap? I mean, geez, hasn’t anyone read that thing about media convergence yet?****** Or is that as totally uncool as globalisation/global media now?*******
*this was meant to be a joke where I linked to a post by a local Aussie acblog, but I can’t find the link now. Sorry. It was funny and clever. Was.
**this is where I link to what I’m thinking of as the ‘sequel’ to the save water campaign in Melbourne. I’m kind of interested in the ramifications of this power campaign. I like the whole ‘you have the power’ plug (so to speak) – it makes me laugh to think of how this switching off unnecessary power soures is kind of functioning as an incitement to quit consuming… vig gov goes socialist? I wonder how origin feels about all this?
*** Hell if I’ll name names – these doods seem to be so online I’ll totally get busted. But you know who I’m talking about. Don’t you? They tend to be a bit slow to engage in any satisfying way with issues of race, class, gender, ethnicity, sexuality, etc, beyond glib book titles and throw away lines. And they love that new media.
Though, frankly, who doesn’t love that new media?
****Go on, tell me you didn’t find Willow’s steady progression to the world of macdom just a little bit signficant to her appeal as thinking-woman’s-hero/hawt-young-dyke/Wicced-kewl young thing? Go on, admit it – you just love to see a slightly-undernourished-young-academic-sexually-ambigious-mildly-androgenous-gingah sporting those sexy safety-corner apple products. you bet your i-life you do!
…you know that we’ve been sitting here on the couch the past few months quietly noting her progression from ugly, clunky pc desktops in Ms Calender’s class to her clunky oldskool macbook, and now are waiting (somewhat breathlessly) for her ibook to appear. But be assured – I will blog it as soon as it appears.
*****off-the-top-of-my-head reference: Blind Date in Angel season one, where Cordy scoffs at Wesley’s slooow old school bookteck, while kicking his arse in the research stakes with her computer, and yet also spending 1 hour and 40 minutes on the phone to Willow who has also been decrypting files all day (ref for the Buffy parallel eps where that goes down – the Yoko Factor and Primeval). Though, really, if I was Cordy at that moment, and considering Willow’s recent Outing at that point in season 4 of Buff, there’s plenty to talk about – at least 1 hour and 40 minutes’ worth.
******Wait til you read my thesis. It’s right there in Chapter 5:DJing as the convergence of media forms and practices in embodied dance discourse
*******Chapters 2 through 6.
———–
Post Script
You might be interested in this issue of the CSAA newsletter, three articles down, where Greg Noble writes about “A cultural studies anti-canon?” Speaking as someone who did an MA on newspapers (how uncool! how …analogue of me!), this caught my attention…
NB the whole mac thing – you know that I’m making a joke about how mac has so totally scored with its marketing towards my demographic with the whole white/safety corners/block colour thing, right? Right?

go read this, too!

Yesterday my latest copies of Continuum came yesterday. They’re part of my CSAA (or is it ANZCA?) membership deal. I tend to be slack keeping up with latest journals, but this whole posting-of-journals to me has meant I’m a little bit more up to date than I usually would be.
BUT
Last night I was reading through the tables of contents, and came across the article Social Capital Theory, Television, and Participation by Steven Maras. Now I’ve only skimmed the abstract and first couple of pages (and I must go back to it), but my attention was caught by this text quoted in the article:

Viewing and reading are themselves uncorrelated – some people do lots of both, some do little of either – but ‘pure readers’ (that is, people who watch less TV than average and read more newspapers than average) belong to 76 percent more civic organizations than ‘pure watchers’ (controlling for education, as always). Precisely the same pattern applies to other indicators of civic engagement, including social trust and voting turnout. ‘Pure readers,’ for example, are 55 percent more trusting than ‘pure viewers’.
In other words, each hour spent viewing television is associated with less social trust and less group membership, while each hour reading a newspaper is associated with more. (Putnam, 1996)

Provocative, no? Now, before you fly off and rumble out a counter/supporting argument, keep in mind the fact that Maras’ article actually begins with a bit of talk about Alan McKee and his reponse to ‘turn off a TV week’:

But why only television, and not books? When I first heard about the campaign to ‘turn off TV’, I tried to work out the logic behind it – but any reason you come up with for encouraging people to turn off TV works just as well for books, or many other parts of our everyday cultural lives. (McKee, 2002)

Now, I actually have more problems with McKee’s points than Putnam’s. Firstly, I think that the idea of ‘turning off the TV’ for a week is not so much an argument (in my mind, as I’d use it) for literally saying ‘no!’ to telly or to a particular cultural practice, but an argument for encouraging us to think more creatively about the things we a) do for fun, and b) do, cultural practice-wise.
There are many arguments which support this sort of reading of the phrase, from ‘get some exercise’ to ‘read a book’ or ‘quit consuming, stooge!’. I agree, turning off the TV isn’t such a great end in itself (I’m all for telly and its social and cultural uses), particularly when I think of all the dancers I know who spend their time either in front of a screen (watching telly or playing on the computer) or on the dance floor. In my opinion, neither is particularly conducive to excellent interpersonal skills in immediate, embodied social interaction. Nor are either in themselves bad. I think my point is that we need to get diversity up us.
But Putnam’s comment is kind of problematic as well. ‘Reading’ is kind of a blanket term, as is ‘viewer’, let alone pure (in either case). No one is a ‘pure’ reader or viewer – we are totally into diversity in our media consumption. Again, I think Putnam’s point (working just from this initial quote) should perhaps be countered with a bunch of questions about ‘what sorts of newspapers did they read?’ and ‘did they read them online, or are you just talking paper?’ (to be fair – his article does predate the internet thingy) and ‘what sorts of telly do they watch?’ and ‘do they watch alone – what is the context for their viewing?’. The latter is particularly imporant, especially when you keep in mind people like Galaxy, who is both a prodigous reader and viewer.
But I’m running on ahead of myself. I haven’t read the article yet, nor do I proof-read my blog entries or work on them for ages before publishing. I’m just pointing out the article, noting the bits in the first 2 pages (literally) that caught my eye. I will, however, be reading this very soon. After (my increasingly late) lunch, perhaps.
But this article caught my eye because I’d just been thinking about doing television studies as an academic. Frankly, I’d be crap at it, simply because I don’t watch enough telly. My previous post on my media consumption kind of points that out – that I’m writing about my sudden increase in telly -viewing points that out (I think I was also trying to say something about cross-media ideology and patterns of consumption in reference to the ABC, but I didn’t quite manage to articulate it). Mostly because I spend a lot of time doing other stuff.
But then, this argument also applies to dance. If I spent more time practicing and working on dancing, I’m sure I’d be much ‘better’. I’d certainly be fitter, which helps. But, you know, there are these other things to do. Television to be watched and all. I wonder if, to be truly good at something, you need to totally submerge yourself in it?
And then, of course, there comes the issue of whether or not an obsessive interest in a particular cultural practice is conducive to community-mindedness. Well, yes, it’s possible (esp in the case of dancing), though your notion of ‘community’ might be quite specific. And when I watch a lot of telly (esp the ABC), hell I get some politics up me, what with actually knowing what’s going on in the world.
So it’s an interesting idea. Perhaps, rather than saying ‘don’t watch telly’ (which is how McKee seemed to have interpreted ‘turn off the TV week’, rather than as ‘hey, try some new stuff this week’), we should say ‘don’t turn off your brain’. Which of course brings us back to one of the oldest stories in the cultural studies book. Can you say encoding/decoding or Stuart Hall? We aren’t passive consumers of media. I like to think of us as media users and I definitely like the phrase ‘cultural practice’, because it suggests that we do stuff with media, rather than just stooging it up.
Which I guess is McKee’s point, ultimately.
So, with these initial (and obviously circular and somewhat misinformed) comments, where am I going with this? Heck, I think it’s time to read the article.

go there, read that

I think I want to post about this again. Check out this comment (which I linked to in my last post) from Dorothy (btw, hi Dorothy, and nice to meet you(r blog)!):

“I played a supporting, subordinate role in this race, and I had a great time doing it. Isn’t it fun to make sacrifices for other riders? It’s not really me that matters, after all, it’s the team. Winning isn’t everything.” It’s not often a woman gets to sit around and listen to a group of men talk this way.

And they’re talking about bike riding competitions. I have a friend who’s seriously into bike competitions, and I must admit, I’m put off by the competitiveness of it all. Especially since it’s endurance stuff they’re into. The thought of all that aggressively competitive testosterone – I’m tougher! No, I’m tougher! Dang, boys – try labour for 12 hours and see who’s got endurance!*
I don’t know if we’re talking teams there, or how that might work in that context, but the thought of team cycling events facinates me. It also emphasises the way these sorts of races are about tactics rather than just ‘go! GO!’ I was struck by this during the recent Commonwealth Games when watching that-team-cycling-event-where-they-work-in-teams-on-the-steep-round-track, where the use of team-tactics is so much clearer. There’s lots of stalking** and so on there.
So go read that post. It’s interesting.
*I speak as someone who does actually posess a baby-space, rather than as one who has actually made babies (or pushed one out). This is perhaps too obvious a feminist/woman joke to make about endurance, but really. Could you blame me?
**Don’t you love the expression stalking horse? I’ll talk about that somewhere else, though.