Author Archives: dogpossum

if the music is bouncing, you’d better have a bloody good reason for just standing there

This is the theme song for this post.

Bug’s Question Of the Day is a regular thread on Faceplant (just search for ‘Bug’s question of the day’ over there). I keep typing replies and then deleting them. I want to engage, but sometimes my responses are too long or too hardcore or too stroppy for that sort of public talk. Over here, I figure I can write my replies and keep them within the context of my blog and broader thinking about dance and DJing and gender and stuff.

So here’s today’s question:

“When pulsing with an off-beat newbie as a follow, in what circumstances should one purely follow the lead versus trying to nudge the pulse towards the music with one’s own pulse? Is there a dance etiquette associated with this?”

There are various responses to this question in the thread, ranging from (and I paraphrase) ‘follows should follow’, and that’s why they should just do as this lead leads, to ‘leads leading like that drive me crazy’. This post is a story about me, and about the things I like in my lindy hop. So it is an entirely subjective narrative. You’re just going to have to deal with the fact that this does not represent the opinion of every women and every follower and ever leader out there.

I’m one of those people in the latter camp: off-beat bouncing (or pulsing – same thing pretty much) drives me nuts. Also, I tend to bounce in time, in my own way, regardless of what the lead is doing. This is mostly because I very rarely come across leaders in Sydney who actually bounce. At all. It’s also because I’M DANCING HERE and bouncing is what the music does, so that’s what I’m doing. Following is a compromise, most of the time, between what I hear in the music and what the leader leads. Which is why I have to lead. I have to, because I get so tired of not being able to actually dance to the music. And because I’m a grown up human being, I choose to dance to the music, in my way. In the immortal words of Our Lady of Pop, I choose to express myself.

If the lead is bouncing, I will make my bounce work with theirs. Sometimes this means crushing my bounce down into a small, power bounce, when I’m usually an up-in-your-grill-bouncing-like-I-just-don’t-care type bouncer. If they’re the sort of lead who knows what they’re doing and they’re not dancing, I will, begrudgingly, drop my bounce. It hurts, but I’ll do it. Because I trust them to know their shit.

Bouncing is lindy hop. If I’m not bouncing, I’m not dancing lindy hop. It makes everything easier. I tailor the bounce to suit the music – the style, the mood, the tempo, all of it. I don’t wear slippery shoes, so I fucking NEED that bounce – the push up from the floor, the coiled energy of a bent knee and engaged core. If I don’t have that bounce, dancing is going to be too much hard work. And I need all the help I can get.

There’s no fucking way I’m going to make my bounce disappear. I’m NOT going to dance badly just to suit some guy’s bullshit dancing. Yes, he’s usually a guy. But I won’t compromise for a female lead either. Too many women followers compromise their dancing to suit their lead’s. Too many of those brilliant performances in the highest profile competitions are really a performance of phenomenal following, where a follow makes some leader’s ridiculously challenging leading into badassery. Those guys think they’re fucking all that, but it’s the follow who makes that shit work. The followers are where the fucking all that is AT.

I, however, am not interested in compromising my fun to mollycoddle some guy’s ego. He’s a beginner. I’m smiling at him, I’m having fun, I’m prepared to give that sort of encouraging feedback. I’m on his side. And I’m going to give him the reassurance of a good, solid bounce that tells him where the beat is. Because he sure as fuck needs to know when he’s screwing up. Or else he’s going to go on thinking he’s all that when he’s not. And far too many leads think they’re all that, when really, they’re not. They’ve really needed a few more followers to stop fixing their fuckups so they knew they were fucking up, and had the chance to improve.

[I do know that a follow just following, doing everything the leader leads, so the leader can see how their actions affect the follow, is a good way of teaching a lead. But hells, we’re not fucking DOLLIES. We’re dancing here, too, buddy! Pay attention to your follower, especially if she’s been around a bit. You’re gonna learn something from her when she kicks your arse.]

This has too much to do with the fact that there are often too few leaders at social dancing nights, or that women dancers are too willing to compromise their own win just to score a dance with someone with a dick. Come ON,ladies! We don’t need the cock to rock!

Also, I have no patience whatsoever for leads who just stand in place, twirling the follow like a swizzle stick in a cocktail. They just stand there, occasionally doing some sort of bullshit ‘swingout’ that doesn’t include any triple steps or bounce, where the follower does all the hard work, moving eleven million times more than the lead, and generally make shit happen despite the awfulness of the lead.

I am not going to be that follow, and I’m sure as shit not going to be that lead. If you’re not bouncing, buddy, you’re not dancing lindy hop. You’re doing tango or something. Swinging jazz bounces, so you need to get your muscles active and bounce.

While I’m ranting, triple steps are what make lindy hop. They’re the syncopation in the swinging jazz. If you’re not triple stepping, you’re just stepping. And any old stooge can just step. That’s boring old babby stuff. Syncopation is hard – it demands more of your body, more of your sense of music and rhythm, and makes your dancing more. Triple steps are the difference between just 3 steps a second and more than 3 steps a second when you’re dancing 180 beats per minute. What’s your problem, non-triple-steppers? Can’t hack the pace?

Further, you mightn’t need those triple steps when you’re standing there swizzling your stick. But the follow who’s running her arse off making your shit sing does need those extra couple of steps. Be a good leader. Don’t be a lazy leader.

Finally, as a leader myself, my job is to pay attention to the follower. I’m listening to her body very carefully. I need to know where her weight is at all times, so that I can actually lead rather than dictate moves. So if she’s bouncing and I’m not, then I’m going to notice, and I’m going to fix that shit, because I’d be ashamed to discover I was out of time or not bouncing. I’m also going to pay attention to the shit she brings. If she decides she needs to swivel for 8 counts, I’m going to bloody well work with her to bring that. It’s much easier to just lead your own little set of moves without having to integrate the follower’s contributions. But I’m not a babby. Whether I get there or not, I aim for fucking brilliant. Because I’m a lindy hopper, and I’m going to be the best goddamn lindy hopper I can, and mollycoddling won’t help me get there.

NB If the Swedes can get an entire kitchen into three flat packed cartons, I’m prepared to take their advice on how to get a whole world of awesome into my lindy hop. Bouncing fo life, yo!

No Meat Week: no. 65million – Red Slop and Nice Rice

We are still not cooking meat at home. Although we did last night. But that was an exception, and organic, free range lalala hippy la meat. That’s the rule. No cooking meat unless it’s from organic free range lala sources.

But that’s the only time we’ve cooked meat since we started this whole thing.

Recipes of interest:
– Pizzas with various vegetable things on top. Using bases from the baker in Haberfield. Why buy bases? Because they’re from the HABERFIELD BAKERY where the nonnas push you out of the way to get the good stuff.

– Spinach and ricotta caneloni. Still not old. Delicious.

– anything involving sweet potato because it is GOING OFF at the moment. In curries, roasted, every fucking where, because that shit is YUM!

Tonight we had Red Slop And Nice Rice. This is another dish from the old share housing vegan coeliac days. Except it has cheese in it. We used to make this one just so we could eat the nice rice. It’s very easy. And cheap.

Red Slop
– Saute a bunch of mashed up garlic in some olive oil. Don’t you dare use that jarred shit. Add a tbsp ground coriander and a bit less of ground coriander. Saute til the smell really rises.
– Add a can of tomatoes. Stir it all around. If you use fresh tomatoes, cook the slop for much longer – you want this to get really rich.
– Add a can of chickpeas (drained of course). Stir that all around. Use your soaked and cooked dried ones if you’ve got them. If you’re a chickpea nut, use the big fat juicy ones, not the littler ones.

I forgot about the eggplant. It usually has eggplant. Get an eggplant, cut it into matchsticks about a centimetre wide. Saute that in the oil before you do the garlic. Saute til the eggplant is cooked. Then proceed from the first step above. If you’re scared of all the oil this will require (and it will need a bit), grill the eggplant first with a brushing of oil, then slice it and add it after the chickpeas. Eggplant is YUM YUM YUM.

Ok, so now you have red slop. It can simmer for a while on a low heat, getting thicker and richer and yummier.

Put your rice on in the rice cooker. I go the absorption method because I am lazy arse. But it’s just as good with looser grains. Use a long grain rice. We used basmati tonight. Cook it.

When the rice is done, put it on a plate to cool a little, and add a heap of washed, finely sliced fresh spinach to the red slop. Don’t use frozen stuff. Fresh is cheap and good. You only cook the spinach til it’s wilted. Don’t let it get brown.

Meanwhile (or earlier if you’re bored and impatient) put these things in a big bowl:
– some crumpled up fetta. Dodoni is best, unless you’re in a good middle eastern/mediterranean area, then find a good, tasty, bitey one. How much fetta? Well, you want to eventually mix it into the rice, so not too much, but enough to leave little bobbles on every forkful.
– juice of half a lemon. Or perhaps more if you’re cooking for four or more.
– some freshly ground pepper.
– some salt
– a fairly generous amount of finely chopped parsley

-> these amounts depend on the amount of rice you use. Basically, the rice should be flecked with green and bits of fetta and taste lemony but not too sharp or sloppy.

Then you add the rice, just after it’s cooled a bit. This dish is best if the rice is just a bit warmer than room temperature. You don’t really want to wilt the parsley or melt the cheese, but you want the rice’s warmth to set the flavours loose. It’ll suck up the lemon juice and kiss up to the fetta. YUM!

Now you put some nice rice on your place, a big plop of red slop next to it, and perhaps have it with some Greek yoghurt or a yoghurt sauce (olive oil, garlic, sugar, salt, lemon juice).

It’s a ridiculously delicious, simple dish. The most expensive bit is the cheese. Don’t be tempted to buy the cheaper ‘Australian’ fetta, and don’t even look at the low-fat stuff. This dish is so healthy you can manage a bit of full fat cheese.

I can imagine this would be brilliant with some grilled haloumi on top. But you don’t really need that second salty cheese in there.

The nice rice doesn’t really taste good refrigerated – it’s better at room temperature. Now I’m thinking about it, though, I reckon leftover nice rice (ha! as if there’ll be any!) would be awesome stuffed inside a capsicum and roasted. Or inside anything, really. A zucchini! A squash! YUM!

8tracks: Crazy Ear Worms

linky

Image from shorpy.

This is an 8tracks set of songs that drive me CRAZY: it is impossible to get these melodies out of my brainz. They all have shocking earworm melodies. They’re also all AWESOME!

title artist album bpm year length

W.P.A. Louis Armstrong and the Mills Brothers The Complete Louis Armstrong Decca Sessions (1935-1946) (disc 6) 155 1940 2:48

I’m An Old Cowhand Frankie Trumbauer and his Orchestra (Russ Case, Charlie Teagarden, Jack Teagarden, Matty Matlock, Jack Cordaro, Eddie Miller, Roy Bargy, Carl Kress, Artie Miller, Ray Bauduc) The Complete Okeh and Brunswick Bix Beiderbecke, Frank Trumbauer and Jack Teagarden Sessions (1924-1936) (disc 7) 179 1936 3:08

All The Jive Is Gone Andy Kirk and his Twelve Clouds of Joy Andy Kirk: Complete Jazz Series 1936 – 1937 206 1936 2:39

Charlie the Chulo – Take 2 Barney Bigard and his Jazzopators (Ray Nance, Juan Tizol, Ben Webster, Harry Carney, Duke Ellington, Jimmy Blanton, Sonny Greer) The Duke Ellington Centennial Edition: Complete RCA Victor Recordings (disc 10) 225 1940 3:10

Seven Come Eleven Benny Goodman Sextet (Fletcher Henderson, Charlie Christian, Artie Bernstein, Nick Fatool, Lionel Hampton) Charlie Christian: The Genius of The Electric Guitar (disc 1) 234 1939 2:47

Mutiny In The Parlor Gene Krupa’s Swing Band (Chu Berry, Helen Ward) Classic Chu Berry Columbia And Victor Sessions (Disc 1) 137 1936 3:06

Wipe It Off Lonnie Johnson and Clarence Williams acc. by James P. Johnson, Lonnie Johnson, Spencer Williams Raunchy Business: Hot Nuts and Lollypops 122 1930 3:20

Sweet Violets Putney Dandridge and his Orchestra (Richard Clarke, Johnny Russell, Teddy Wilson, Arnold Adams, Ernest Hill, Cozy Cole) Complete Jazz Series 1935 – 1936 176 1936 3:06

Two Cousins

This clip is brilliant.

Video for ‘Two Cousins’ by Slow Club, featuring Ryan Francois and Remy Kouakou Kouame

I have so much to say about this, but I have to just start here, and perhaps get back to it later.

I think it’s great! I must have watched it a million billion times already. I LOVE that you can see what they’re doing clearly – there’s so little footage of Ryan around it’s really cool to finally get a good look at his action. And I’d never seen Remy before!

I like the editing and composition a LOT. I think it’s a bit jarring if you’re used to the usual dance footage, which is just one camera at one angle, filming a whole-body shot. Great for watching and rewatching and learning choreography. Rubbish for creating a complex, involving narrative. This video clip is constructed for a different reason: to sell a song. Video clips have a long history of telling mini stories and working with narrative in interesting ways. This simply isn’t a dance clip like the ones we use every day. It wants to be read in a different way. Having said that, I think this clip also echoes the things Mura Dehn did in Spirit Moves: a white background; dancers framed in a strange, unnatural environment; inappropriate music; etc etc.

I think the editing and composition are wonderful for showcasing the movements. I really like (for example) the way the scarecrow is in slo-mo – it really emphasises the _feel_ of a scarecrow, which uses that long, slow slide back into a SNAP! I also love the close up on their hands. And the slow change from the gaze to-camera to the itches. I love that bit. Itches can feel kind of cheesy, but that deep, slow gaze reminds me that itches are old, old movements, their roots in Africa, funny on one level, serious on another. These two men – ancestors from Africa, living in modern Europe, dressed in the sharpest, finest suits are modern artists and professionals. They immediately trip up any orientalist impulses. This isn’t a romantic recreation of black dance; it’s a deliberate engagement with the dance (and the camera) by savvy professionals.

I like the way the editing and framing cut the movements into pieces and emphasise the jerky staccato-ness of them, but then slow them doooown, making them smoother and more fluid with the slo-mo. I also like the way the dancers turn around, so we see their backs. All that unrelieved black fabric in a high-contrast black and white film. It’s a relief when they turn around and we see their faces and hands and white shirts and bits of white cuff. Throughout this clip we see so many little bits of their bodies (which emphasises those bits and makes us think about them), I just get so impatient to see their _whole_ bodies. So when we do see them, full-length, framed carefully and completely on the screen, it’s almost a relief. I have to keep watching and rewatching, hoping I’ll see just a bit more of them each time.

I think this is only shot from one side, so the dancers _can_ turn their backs on us. They can choose to look _away_. It’s not quite a fourth wall, because they return our gaze, so levelly and clearly, and breaking the illusion of an on-stage performance.

I don’t mind that the choreography is cut into pieces. Isn’t that how we experience archival film anyway – films are cut up into pieces, the dancing bits excised and put onto youtube? And when I think of the Al and Leon stuff on youtube, it all sort of blurs into a melange of pieces, just like this clip. Editing is about cutting up and gluing together footage to tell a story in a particular way. I think the editing in this allows the dancers to engage with the viewer in a way Al and Leon never could in those television performances.

In this video clip we finally get a chance to see just how _seriously_ these dancers take their work and their craft. Those moments when, in slo-mo, Remy and Ryan gaze into the camera… it’s exciting. It’s intense. It reminds me that the light hearted surface of those Al and Leon clips is really just the very first and most superficial part of what they were doing. All those performances are the product of so much work and practice and training, all of which require an intense, passionate commitment and determination. When they look into the camera their stillness and intensity contrasts with their energised bodies and remind me that the performance _is_ a performance. They are _more_ than just this routine. It also reminds me that this is a _recreation_ of iconic choreographies (and television performances), where two men are recreating or performing something which dancers like us all know, but which the average punter hasn’t a clue about. They are putting on a ‘costume’ when they do those routines (including their literal costumes), but they are – as people and dancers – more than this. I especially like the way their level gazes contrast with the grins (which could be fake!) later on. Returning the gaze is an act of agency and power. It also allows you to connect with the people who inhabit those bodies in a different way.

So far as the song itself goes: booooring. But then, that action is popular with the young people these days, and perhaps it’s a gateway drug. :D To badarse dancing and eventually music. I do think the song is useful, though, because its lighter, simpler structure only emphasises the complexity of the dancing. I guess I see this contrast mostly because I’m so very familiar with the original choreography and musical context for the dancing, and not everyone might see that (especially if they didn’t know anything about jazz dance). But to me it’s kind of thrilling to see such amazing dancing so clearly, and showcased in such an interesting way. For me, the song recedes and becomes a sort of bland background for some really impressive, wonderful dancing.

I’m also fascinated by the presentation and performance of race in this clip, how it compares with footage of black dancers in the 30s/40s/50s, the fact that the Slow Club are white British musicians, but I don’t really want to make this post any longer. Although I bet Stuart Hall would have some really interesting things to say…

NB I’d like to talk about how the long, full-length shot without cuts was used by feminist filmmakers in the 70s to alienate the viewer from the narrative, and also to emphasise the tedium of housework. This is relevant to a discussion of how dancers use footage of dance performances – long, unbroken scenes, full-length shots. The story is deliberately broken down by rewatching as well as framing, so that dancers can figure out dance steps.

NB2 Of course, when I see this post next to the last one, all sorts of other ideas leap into my brain.

Eddie Condon: Everywhere, All The Time

Direct link to 8tracks playlist.

Photo by William Gottlieb in 1946 from the Library of Congress William P. Gottlieb Collection.

Eddie Condon. Chicagoan guitarist who just went on and on and on. Telly, albums, night club. The jazz brand of win. Was also in some brilliant bands. I don’t actually have a lot of his stuff (considering just how much he recorded), and I’ve found that most of the best quality recordings I have are from the cheapy JSP box set of his stuff. Which I got from emusic, and so don’t have liner notes for. How frustrating! I did manage to sort most of the discographical details out using the Tom Lord Jazz Discography, but it’d just been easier to get a good Mosaic set.

Eddie Condon. Damn good stuff.

1. Bugle Call Rag The Rhythmakers (Billy Banks, Henry ‘Red’ Allen, Pee Wee Russell, Fats Waller, Eddie Condon, Jack Bland, Pops Foster, Zutty Singleton) Henry Red Allen ‘Swing Out’ 247 1932 2:45

2. A Shine On Your Shoes Jack Bland and his Rhythmakers (Henry ‘Red’ Allen, Tommy Dorsey, Pee Wee Russell, Eddie Condon, Pops Foster, Zutty Singleton) Eddie Condon: Classic Sessions 1927-49 (Volume 2) 241 1932 3:02

3. Sweet Thing Dick Porter and his Orchestra (Johnah Jones, Joe Marsala, Dick Porter, Eddie Condon, Ernest Myers, George Wettling) Eddie Condon: Classic Sessions 1927-49 (Volume 2) 104 1936 2:49

4. Keeps On A-Rainin’ Eddie Condon, Billie Holiday, Hot Lips Page, Horace Henderson, Jack Lesberg, George Wettling Eddie Condon: Classic Sessions 1927-49 (Volume 4) 70 1949 3:21

5. We Called It Music Eddie Condon, Louis Armstrong, Ben Webster Eddie Condon: Classic Sessions 1927-49 (Volume 4) 135 1949 5:12

6. Mahogany Hall Stomp Louis Armstrong and his Savoy Ballroom Five (JC Higgenbotham, Albert Nicholas, Charlie Holmes, Teddy Hill, Luis Russell, Eddie Condon, Lonnie Johnson, George ‘Pops’ Foster, Paul Barbarin) Hot Fives and Sevens – Volume 4 192 1929 3:16

7. Who Stole The Lock (On The Henhouse Door) Jack Bland and his Rhythmakers (Henry ‘Red’ Allen, Tommy Dorsey, Pee Wee Russell, Eddie Condon, Pops Foster, Zutty Singleton) I Was Born To Swing 243 1932 2:40

8. That’s A Serious Thing Eddie’s Hot Shots (Leonard Davis, Jack Teagarden, Mezz Mezzrow, Happy Caldwell, Joe Sullivan, Eddie Condon, George Stafford) Jack Teagarden: It’s a Serious Thing 107 1929 3:30

9. Ridin’ But Walkin’ Fats Waller and his Buddies (Henry ‘Red’ Allen, Jack Teagarden, Albert Nicholas, Larry Binyon, Eddie Condon, Al Morgan, Gene Krupa, Leonard Davis, JC Higgenbotham, Charlie

10. Holmes, Will Johnson, Kaiser Marshall) Jack Teagarden: It’s a Serious Thing 123 1929 2:34

11. There’ll Be Some Changes Made Chicago Rhythm Kings (Muggsy Spanier, Frank Teschmacher, Mezz Mezzrow, Joe Sullivan, Eddie Condon, Jim Lannigan, Gene Krupa, Red McKenzie) Mezz Mezzrow: Complete Jazz Series 1928 – 1936 205 1928 2:55

12. Yellow Dog Blues The Rhythmakers (Billy Banks, Henry ‘Red’ Allen, Pee Wee Russell, Fats Waller, Eddie Condon, Jack Bland, Pops Foster, Zutty Singleton) The Panic Is On 180 1932 3:20

1. Bugle Call Rag. A dancers’ favourite. I like this pared back version. The cool thing about these earlier recordings is that many of these bands with different names actually featured the same musicians.

2. Same year as Bugle Call Rag, Shine On Your Shoes has much the same personnel, and the catchiest melody ever.

3. This version of Sweet Thing is interesting, as the vocals are an obvious imitation of Fats Waller’s style, and many of these Chicago boys actually recorded or played with Fats Waller. Fats Waller’s version of this song is much subtler and more beautiful. The mugging on this track is a bit much, but it’s an interesting example of Waller’s influence.

4. Billie Holiday on Condon’s show. I think it’s a radio show – it was one of those I had to try to figure out using the discography, and I could have made a mistake. But it’s an interesting example of Condon’s ability to pull stars.

5. We Called It Music. There are a heap of versions of this roll-call type ‘stunt’ song, featuring the biggest names in jazz at the time. This is really just a showcase for various big names, and isn’t the best song on earth, but it’s an interesting example of this type of performance.

6. Mahogany Hall Stomp by Louis Armstrong’s Savoy Ballroom Five, of which Condon was a part. This interracial element is super interesting, as is the Savoy connection. This is a brilliant little song.

7. Who Stole The Lock was made famous by Naomi and Todd’s brilliant 2005 performance, and I remember it really kicked Melbourne lindy hoppers’ musical interests into a new realm. It’s excellent when big name lindy hoppers do performances to music you’re into, as it means that music gets a bit of PR that then smoothes the way for your DJing it. I remember it still took a while for Melbourne to get into this song and this style. Sigh.

8. Jack Teagarden. My second husband.

9. Ridin’ But Walkin’. This is an example of Fats Waller playing with these white Chicago boys. This is really quite a lovely song, and has a more ‘sophisticated’ sound than a lot of the stuff these various musicians did in smaller, rowdier groups.

10. I love the vocals to There’ll Be Some Changes Made. This is fun stuff.

11. More of Fats Waller with the white Chicago boys. This shit is hot.

No Meat Week4: Tuesday

Tonight I am feeling much better, so we are having the cauliflower, onion and ginger dinner with spinachy rice from an earlier week. This is a delicious dinner, and I hope it will revitalise my taste buds, and more importantly, the antibacterial qualities of all that ginger, garlic and onion will kick the last bits of goober in my sinuses to the curb.

We love spinach, and this is exactly how it looks when we buy it here in Ashfield. It’s stupid cheap, and very good for you. It’s also very versatile, and can be used in all sorts of cuisines. Win.

In other news, we are supposed to be going to Tasmania for an exchange on Thursday, but the volcano has grounded all flights out of Sydney for at least 48 hours. So we might not be getting to Tasmania.

No Meat Week4: Monday


Four weeks already! There was that big bit of exchange in the middle, where I did cook meat, but still. It’s been four weeks since we decided to give this a go. And we’re not sick of it yet. I guess the next goal is to not eat meat for lunch.

We are still crook. I have no tastebuds, so I can’t smell anything and food is very unappealingly flavourless.

Tonight we’ll have either nachos or burritos. Both use the same ingredients, except one involves corn chips and one burritos. This isn’t at all ‘authentic’ Mexican food. It’s basic, easy cooking for when we’re totally buggered.

1. Red slop.
Ah, red slop. Central to all the meals I make. This one is slightly different.

– saute a brown onion til it’s see-through and beginning to change colour. I am going with the Indian approach to onions, where you cook it longer (but don’t let it burn) so it has a stronger flavour.
– add some crushed/chopped garlic. Get the garlic to change colour or whatever.
– add 1tsp ground coriander, 1tsp ground cumin, 1tsp sweet paprika, chilli powder to taste (which I can’t, so whatever). Give this lot 30 seconds or a minute til the flavour rises. …well, I just guessed that bit. Who knows what it smells like.
– add a can of tomatoes and a can of borlotti beans (kidney beans would be the obvious choice, but I don’t like them).

Let all this simmer quietly til you’re ready for it.

As you can see, this is a very simple, very unauthentic red slop. It’s better if it has a rich, red flavour, so you can contrast with fresher salsas.

Now, you’re going to need a salsa. I make a very simple one using:
– chopped tomatoes. Don’t bother with anything other than cherries at the moment, as they’re not in season. Or ditch tomatoes completely.
– some finely chopped onion (green onion, white onion, red onion, whatever).
– some finely chopped garlic.
– some finely chopped capsicum.
– some finely chopped coriander.
– a squeeze of lime juice.

Basically, this is a fresh, bitey ‘salad’ to balance the rich red slop and everything else. To my mind, this is the most important – the essential! – part of the dinner. There are a million different recipes for salsas, using everything from mangoes to olives. Choose one that suits what you have to hand. I think the fresh herbs are an essential part of this – coriander, mint, parsley are all good things.

Make a guacamole. I used to get really fancy with guacamole, but I’ve recently decided that simpler is better.
– mash up an avocado.
– add a bit of very finely chopped (if not grated) onion.
– add a squeeze of lime or lemon juice.
– add some freshly ground salt and pepper.

You’re done. I’d even ditch the onion, or replace it with garlic or just not use it at all. The point is that the avocado is just ripe and perfect. I prefer lime to lemon juice. You could add a smear of very good olive oil if you like, but it’s not really necessary. Make the guac fresh, or not at all. And don’t waste your time with pre-made guacamole. It’s just as cheap to buy an avocado and it will taste a million times better. A pre-made guac doesn’t save you time. Mashing an avocado is as quick as peeling open those annoying plastic containers.

If you’re making burritos, put onto the table a bowl of each of the salsa, the guacamole, the red slop, some baby spinach or other salad greens, some plain yoghurt (I don’t like sour cream as I prefer sharper flavours, but you could use that instead), some cheese (that’s where things get really inauthentic), some finely sliced chillis, anything you think would be nice wrapped into a burrito. I quite like those gherkiny pickle things that you can get from Mexican joints, and I also like those pickled giant yellow chillis.

Now: everyone make their own!

If you’re making nachos, you’re going to need some good corn chips. Nachos is a bit of a lazy/special occasion/holiday alternative for us. I like to get the organic plain corn chips from the deli. Whatever you get, don’t get a flavoured brand, and avoid big brands like Doritos. They are yucky. You want a really corny flavoured corn chip, and it’s best if they use a bit of sea salt and a decent oil. The corn chips are a base for other flavours, not the main event. This will be the most expensive part of the meal if you’re using fresh ingredients.

Spread the chips on a plate, spread some red slop on top, then some cheese. Again, this is inauthentic town. Put the plate under the grill til it goes melty or brown or to your preference.
You have to serve this with salsa, and I like to add gaucamole, yoghurt, spinach, etc. I’m also very conservative with yoghurt. The salsa is the main event.

I never make either of these dishes with meat any more, as I prefer the tasty, thicker flavour of the beans. You could use a pulled pork or grilled fish or chicken instead. But the most important parts are the salsas. You can make more than one. The point is that the rich red stuff or pulled pork or grilled fish or whatever is a base for the exotic, interesting flavours of the salsas. It’s also important to use fresh ingredients. Don’t bother with premade guacamole. If you can’t get a good avocado, ditch it altogether and have yoghurt or sour cream alone. The point is that the flavours are tasty and fresh.

If you make a heap of red slop, you can freeze it for next time, and it makes an easy, quick dinner at a moment’s notice.