i used to be an obsessive cleaner and tidier. when i moved out of home (ten years ago), i was all about housework. i lived for clean. i loved tidy.
now i am crap.
it was a gradual process, the descent into bullshit. and i blame the internet. i had more time to clean before the internet. i certainly had more time to sew. now i am the bullshit housemate.
though i really think it’s a part of the process of learning to sharehouse again. in 2001 i moved out of brisvegas and a dinks flat, and into a household of 4. i was number 4. a huge, big double story terrace called ‘poowong’. i had to learn how to be in a sharehouse, not a couple house. again.
i had a shelf in the fridge and a shelf in the larder. and i had about three tonnes of crockery. see – i came out of that relationship a winner. all the tablewear i could ever need.
in poowong i learnt not to complain about other people’s nocturnal activities, i learnt to do My Share of the cleaning (though that was usually everyone’s share, as i couldn’t hack the dirt of 4 – 6 people in one winter household), My Share of the dishwashing and My Share of the billpaying. i used to know how to do all these things. but melbourne retrained me for share housing in the new millenium.
so i share housed for a few years. now i live with The Squeeze. and i am the bullshit housemate. i’ve fallen back into my old ways – no washing up. ever. it does not exist for me. i think it is my single worst relationship trait. i can’t wash up. it’s pathological.
in poowong we used to have washing up stand-offs, where we’d go without doing dishes for days and days and days. it was usually broken by the weakest link, who was usually jane’s boyfriend dave. he was a med student, so i guess it was a reassuring weakness.
now it’s not that we have washing up stand-offs. it’s more that we have a mountain of dirty dishes and then The Squeeze sets to and we have a mountain of clean dishes.
when i was last dinking, i used to claim that my attitude to washing up was very zen – i had learnt to just let the dishes Be.
now i’m just the bullshit housemate.
no excuse. just a definition.
but i’m not an utterly fukked housemate. i do the laundry. but i think that’s more the indulgence of an Unnatural Passion. i do adore clean fabric. rather, i think my laundry issues are founded on a more-than-passing desire for fabric. the more the better. guess that explains my love of bed as well.
i used to cook a whole lot. but then The Squeeze learnt to cook. so now i don’t.
and it’s this realisation (which he came to last night), which led to the official household declaration that i am a bullshit housemate.
good thing i put out, or i’d be out.