Look out. I’m going to swear in this post. At the end. Because I am just so, so angry about this. I am SO. ANGRY. If you don’t like me swearing, get off your arse and do something about this stuff, so I don’t have to swear.
If your response to multiple stories of sexual harassment or sexual assault committed by one person is to ‘wait and see’ and ‘hear the other side of the story’ you are saying:
- that all these women are lying
- that you don’t believe these women
- that the opinion of that one man is more important than the stories of many women
- that you are more willing to believe that one man’s story (if it differs) than to believe all these women.
That’s just the bottom line.
Basically, if a heap of women all tell you very similar stories about a man who:
- touches their bodies in ways they don’t want,
- tells them unwelcome sexually explicit stories in public settings,
- texts, emails, messages, and contacts on facebook with unrelenting requests for dates or attention…
…even after they tell him to stop…
…and you don’t believe them, you are complicit in sexual harassment. You are making it easier for this man to continue frightening, bullying, assaulting, intimidating these women and girls. You are saying, “I think he has a right to do what he likes with your body. I don’t think you are intelligent or rational enough to assess or comment on a man’s behaviour. I think you are a liar. I think you are LYING and I DON’T TRUST YOU.”
You’re just as guilty as he is.
Having a ‘code of conduct’ on your event’s website, or telling students you’re ‘not ok with harassment’ means absolutely nothing if you do not believe the women who tell you about this man.
So stop being a fucking arsehole already. Just fucking BELIEVE them and stop being a cock. Kick that fucker out of your events, ban his fucking arse, and bring the shit. Earn my respect. Because right now, you do not have it.