and no energy even for made up jobs. It’s 11.13 and I’ve been up for hours already. The less I have to do, the earlier I get up so the more time I can spend sitting (or wandering) about, staring aimlessly into space or blindly tapping my way through the internet. I keep thinking ‘it’s cooler – go out and take advantage of it’ but I have no motivation.
I really don’t have anything to do. Well, I have a book review to do – but it’s not due til March. I haven’t read the book, but I’ve begun it and pretty much know how it’ll turn out. I have thought about making a conference paper into a journal article, but I lack inspiration. Or motivation. The thesis needs to become a book, quite soon, but you know what? I just can’t be arsed. Sewing? Hm, whatever. Fiddling with my music? Nah. The garden is weeded and mulched and happy on its own. The house isn’t too dirty.
Smells like post-holiday dumps.
We had a very nice time in Hobart. Nice weather (mostly), nice visit, nice festivus. We have to go up to Brisvegas for a funeral this week, which won’t be nice, but hopefully it’ll be ok. I haven’t been back in seven years. I’m not really looking forward to it. As The Squeeze says, We Don’t Go Back.
I have no plans for this year. I do have some sessional teaching lined up, possibly some lecturing, but I lack enthusiasm.
I have been doing some serious long stitching lately. Is that what it’s called? Where you do looong stitches across the canvas. Feels like cheating to me. I’m a tapestry person (when I can be arsed with canvas work), and all those long stitches feel like cheating. There are a couple of fancier knots and things, but still. We’ve been watching Hornblower DVDs compulsively since christmas. Dad, The Squeeze and I would take over the lounge room and giant telly and watch them in Hobart. We brought them home with us and lay on the couch watching a welshy annunciate his way through the Napoleonic wars through that latest hot spell. We have a bunch of Sharpes to get us through this weekend’s heat.
I’ve also been watching some other DVDs. Got Shameless season 1 from The Squeeze, and it’s great. All watched, though. Good thing there are four seasons (I think). Have also made my way through three Spike Lee films lately – Clockers, Do The Right Thing and Jungle Fever. Clockers was the only one I hadn’t seen, and it was ok. Bit preachy, really. I know that’s Lee’s thing, but I prefer the sermon cloaked with a little story telling. There were some nice wanky narrative tipups in there, but not all that amazing, really. But I do like Lee’s fillums. Crooklyn is my favourite, though. Of course. Though I quite liked Summer of Sam.
We saw Darjeeling Limited at the Kino this week. It was neat. I love that man’s fillums. I love them very much. We also saw The Golden Compass in Hobart. It was neat. We have plans to see I Am Legend, but I am suspecting some serious crap. That actor sucks bums and I bet there are some failures to explain basic historical and practical points. Electricity? Rotting bodies? A man who has to explore and hunt through a city using a treadmill to keep fit? Excuse me, mate, but subsistence living will strip the pounds from you to the point where you’ll be too busy for moping about on a treadmill. Is anyone else thinking Z For Zacharia here?
Speaking of which, what was it with all those fucking horrible post-apocalyptic, WWII, holocaust books we read at school? As a keen reader I was either thoroughly bored or thoroughly traumatised by the crap we read at school. Why not a nice, encouraging book about happy things? Maybe they figured all we northern suburb, working class public school types needed a bit of buck-up-man-ship.
Ok, so back to me and my malaise. Is malaise the right word? I feel slothful. Lazy. Unproductive. Apathetic. Guilty for having nothing to do. No serious work on the horizon. And any way, what should I research now? What should I write about? I really can’t think of anything. It’s like I’ve used up all my creativity with that PhD. I guess I’m looking forward to teaching – I always learn a lot and get all inspired and creative with my teaching. Pity it doesn’t leave me enough time to write anything. Guess I’d better get over that quick smart, though.
I am a miserable old poo. Guess I should get out and get some exercise. Give myself a bit of a happy endorphine injection. Bah humbug.
i have nothing to do
