I have plenty to blog about, mostly involving surprise dental surgery on Monday, giving a lecture the next day with tongue and lips still unrecovered from aneasthetic, figuring out a way to ride to the university that takes me only 45 minutes! when the bus takes me an hour and a half, having an infected ear with a (gross) pussy ear drum, discovering this and getting excited because it starts a couple of days after this, procrastinating with a ‘mini program’ for MLX6, getting the proper podcasting gear online for MLX6 podcasting (fat lotta radio will follow – when I made de page), adding two DJing sets to this already busy week and… well, other stuff.
But rather than write about all that boring rubbish, I will just steal some content from a blog I quite like:
5. Nora went to the doctor yesterday and she is finally THIRTY POUNDS. The big three oh! And it only took 44 months to get there! Better lay off the Fig Newtons, you tub of lard, or soon you’ll be waving bye-bye to the fifth percentile! I am joking, of course, but it does feel like a milestone. Nora explained away her recent weight gain by saying, “It makes sense, because I have been pretending to be a superhero for a while now.” You all can ditch your ‘roids and powders, because apparently the way to build mass is to wear a cape and run around the house striking poses and screaming CAPTAIN AMERICA! or INCREDIBLE HULK! I have tried to suggest that superheroes do more than scream out their own names (but do they really? Isn’t the entire superhero gestalt an ego-driven enterprise?), that they fight evil and such, but the concepts are too nebulous for Nora to grasp. Sometimes we play a game where she sits on the couch and I get ready to sit down, with elaborate yawning and “gosh, I’m beat” antics, and then I lean back on top of her and she yells OH NO! CAPTAIN AMERICA IS BEING SQUISHED! And then she struggles out from underneath with accompanying grunts of effort and triumphant shouts at the end. Maybe you missed the issue where Captain America is squashed on the couch by the buttocks of a five-foot-tall Midwestern editor and mother, but I hear it is a valuable collectors’ item, particularly in Japan where they probably have a fetish for that very thing. Check eBay.
This is the sort of thing that we approve of in our house – the amassing of mass and the declaration of superhero handles. We feel that asserting one’s professional identity in verbal form is important. While we were content with things like ‘The Ham approaches!’ and ‘The Cheese abides!’, I feel that we will now take it up a notch.
To full caps at the very least.
